1 00:00:01,332 --> 00:00:02,672 And then Jim tried to set her up with the cable guy 2 00:00:02,673 --> 00:00:04,434 because he wanted to get free pay-per-view. 3 00:00:04,435 --> 00:00:05,775 Yeah, and on our first date, 4 00:00:05,776 --> 00:00:07,207 he said he'd pick me up on Saturday 5 00:00:07,208 --> 00:00:08,338 between 12:00 and 4:00. 6 00:00:08,339 --> 00:00:09,580 Didn't show up till 5:00. 7 00:00:11,282 --> 00:00:13,443 Isn't that so funny, Dr. Gibson? 8 00:00:13,444 --> 00:00:16,046 Please, Cheryl, I've been dating your sister now for a month. 9 00:00:16,047 --> 00:00:17,347 You can call me Ryan. 10 00:00:17,348 --> 00:00:19,389 Oh, oh, yeah, I know, but it's weird. 11 00:00:19,390 --> 00:00:21,691 I mean, 'cause you're my fertility doctor, 12 00:00:21,692 --> 00:00:23,353 and you've seen my... 13 00:00:23,354 --> 00:00:24,395 Hey-nonny-hey-hey? 14 00:00:26,397 --> 00:00:28,529 Well, I was gonna say medical records, but... 15 00:00:29,530 --> 00:00:30,730 Okay. 16 00:00:30,731 --> 00:00:32,062 Hey, where have you been? 17 00:00:32,063 --> 00:00:33,533 I had some business to square away 18 00:00:33,534 --> 00:00:34,734 with the maitre d'. 19 00:00:34,735 --> 00:00:36,466 Oh, no, did you lie and say it's your birthday 20 00:00:36,467 --> 00:00:37,808 to get free cake? 21 00:00:39,070 --> 00:00:41,141 Cheryl, give me some credit. 22 00:00:41,142 --> 00:00:42,582 I lied and said it was your birthday. 23 00:00:43,674 --> 00:00:45,476 Uh, happy 50th, by the way. 24 00:00:46,677 --> 00:00:48,448 You told them I was 50? 25 00:00:48,449 --> 00:00:50,721 Honey, it was a tough sale. I had to make it a milestone. 26 00:00:52,723 --> 00:00:54,724 Don't worry, Cheryl. You do not look 50. 27 00:00:54,725 --> 00:00:56,727 And he's seen your hey-nonny-hey-hey, so... 28 00:00:58,529 --> 00:01:00,090 How's everyone's meal so far? 29 00:01:00,091 --> 00:01:01,591 Oh, it's delicious. And thank you so much 30 00:01:01,592 --> 00:01:03,433 for recommending this wine. 31 00:01:03,434 --> 00:01:04,734 It's one of my favorites. 32 00:01:04,735 --> 00:01:06,197 Well, it's perfect. Thank you, Greg. 33 00:01:12,603 --> 00:01:13,744 Greg? 34 00:01:16,107 --> 00:01:18,308 How do you know his name? 35 00:01:18,309 --> 00:01:20,410 He introduced himself when he came to the table. 36 00:01:20,411 --> 00:01:21,712 And you remembered it? 37 00:01:23,454 --> 00:01:25,315 I didn't remember it. 38 00:01:25,316 --> 00:01:27,118 Of course, I don't want to sleep with him. 39 00:01:27,618 --> 00:01:29,289 What? 40 00:01:29,290 --> 00:01:30,460 You just flirted with that guy. 41 00:01:30,461 --> 00:01:32,592 You just hit on that guy right in front of me. 42 00:01:32,593 --> 00:01:34,564 Right in front of the world! 43 00:01:34,565 --> 00:01:35,765 What are you talking about? 44 00:01:35,766 --> 00:01:37,497 All she did was say "dinner is delicious." 45 00:01:37,498 --> 00:01:39,470 Don't make me relive it. 46 00:01:40,331 --> 00:01:41,731 Honey! 47 00:01:41,732 --> 00:01:44,304 I am not interested in the waiter. 48 00:01:44,305 --> 00:01:46,877 Oh, you didn't watch his tight little ass as it walked away? 49 00:01:48,179 --> 00:01:49,509 No! 50 00:01:49,510 --> 00:01:50,641 Obviously you did. 51 00:01:52,283 --> 00:01:54,285 I don't know... Oh, my God! 52 00:01:55,346 --> 00:01:56,786 You had the salmon! 53 00:01:56,787 --> 00:01:58,489 He recommended the salmon! 54 00:01:59,390 --> 00:02:01,891 I'm a fool! 55 00:02:01,892 --> 00:02:04,123 Hey, Doc, you were here. You witnessed the whole thing. 56 00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:06,356 What's your take on it? 57 00:02:06,357 --> 00:02:08,259 I'm a little confused right now, 58 00:02:09,460 --> 00:02:11,762 because I ordered the salmon, too. 59 00:02:15,506 --> 00:02:18,368 No, you know what? It's insane. It's insane. 60 00:02:18,369 --> 00:02:19,769 Honey, I'm gonna give you some time to calm down. 61 00:02:19,770 --> 00:02:20,840 Yeah. 62 00:02:20,841 --> 00:02:22,312 Dana, ladies' room? 63 00:02:22,313 --> 00:02:25,545 Yeah. Yeah. Say hi to sexy Greg for me! 64 00:02:25,546 --> 00:02:28,318 Oh, oh, and here, here. How about this? 65 00:02:28,319 --> 00:02:30,751 Here's a quarter you can bounce off his tight, young ass! 66 00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:34,824 You know what? And there's another thing! 67 00:02:34,825 --> 00:02:36,105 Are you gonna eat those potatoes? 68 00:02:37,428 --> 00:02:38,429 Excuse me? Too late. 69 00:02:40,231 --> 00:02:41,661 Okay, Jim, what just happened here? 70 00:02:41,662 --> 00:02:42,862 I asked if you wanted your potatoes. 71 00:02:42,863 --> 00:02:45,365 You didn't say anything, so I took them. 72 00:02:45,366 --> 00:02:46,936 No, I'm talking about Cheryl. 73 00:02:46,937 --> 00:02:48,598 You just went off on her about the waiter. 74 00:02:48,599 --> 00:02:50,941 Oh, that? Oh, yeah, I was faking jealousy. 75 00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:53,403 What? 76 00:02:53,404 --> 00:02:56,276 Yeah, every couple months or so, I fake jealousy. 77 00:02:56,277 --> 00:02:58,578 Makes her feel good. Makes her happy. 78 00:02:58,579 --> 00:03:00,810 Usually when I see happy, the smile goes this way. 79 00:03:00,811 --> 00:03:01,812 "What's up?" 80 00:03:03,414 --> 00:03:05,885 I know, I know. She acts all mad, 81 00:03:05,886 --> 00:03:07,917 but trust me, deep down inside, 82 00:03:07,918 --> 00:03:09,459 she's loving it. 83 00:03:09,460 --> 00:03:11,321 Yeah, you know, it's real easy to do. 84 00:03:11,322 --> 00:03:12,962 I mean, sometimes you can do it with just one word. 85 00:03:12,963 --> 00:03:14,265 Watch. Watch this. 86 00:03:16,297 --> 00:03:17,668 (SIGHS) Forgot my lipstick. 87 00:03:18,429 --> 00:03:19,470 Lipstick? 88 00:03:20,971 --> 00:03:22,303 Lipstick? 89 00:03:23,434 --> 00:03:24,675 Lipstick! 90 00:03:26,977 --> 00:03:28,279 See how easy it is? 91 00:03:29,780 --> 00:03:32,582 Oh, my cake! 92 00:03:32,583 --> 00:03:33,844 Thank you. My cake! 93 00:03:41,352 --> 00:03:42,923 JIM: Oh, baby! 94 00:03:47,428 --> 00:03:48,928 (CARTOONS ON TV) 95 00:03:48,929 --> 00:03:50,330 Ha ha ha! 96 00:03:50,331 --> 00:03:52,403 Oh, that's stupid. I love it. 97 00:03:54,905 --> 00:03:57,607 Oh, my snack! 98 00:03:57,608 --> 00:03:59,539 Thank you so much, girls. 99 00:03:59,540 --> 00:04:01,571 This is really gonna hit the spot. 100 00:04:01,572 --> 00:04:03,413 So can we stay up till 10:00? 101 00:04:03,414 --> 00:04:04,475 How's that now? 102 00:04:05,546 --> 00:04:07,347 You said if we brought you snacks, 103 00:04:07,348 --> 00:04:08,748 you'd let us stay up till 10:00. 104 00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:10,981 No, Uncle Andy said he'd think about it. 105 00:04:12,283 --> 00:04:13,883 And he has. 106 00:04:13,884 --> 00:04:14,925 And you're not. 107 00:04:16,487 --> 00:04:17,727 Nighty-night. 108 00:04:17,728 --> 00:04:18,888 Come on! 109 00:04:18,889 --> 00:04:20,330 You promised! 110 00:04:20,331 --> 00:04:21,831 Yeah, I know, and that's tonight's lesson. 111 00:04:21,832 --> 00:04:23,463 Grown-ups are liars. 112 00:04:23,464 --> 00:04:25,034 (LAUGHING) 113 00:04:25,035 --> 00:04:26,637 We got that water out of the toilet. 114 00:04:30,641 --> 00:04:31,871 Let's do this! 115 00:04:31,872 --> 00:04:33,943 (GIRLS SCREAMING) 116 00:04:33,944 --> 00:04:36,646 Hey, hey, hey, hey! What's going on? 117 00:04:36,647 --> 00:04:40,510 Just, uh, a little game of tag. Yeah. 118 00:04:40,511 --> 00:04:43,384 These mint juleps here are just pure joy. 119 00:04:44,485 --> 00:04:46,055 Aw, aren't they? 120 00:04:46,056 --> 00:04:47,657 All right, my baby girls, go up and get into bed 121 00:04:47,658 --> 00:04:49,659 and I'll be right up to tuck you in. 122 00:04:49,660 --> 00:04:51,492 All in good fun, right, girls? 123 00:04:52,593 --> 00:04:53,894 (SCREAMING) 124 00:04:55,566 --> 00:04:56,667 What? They're weird. 125 00:04:58,329 --> 00:05:00,029 Oh, man, thanks a lot for dinner. 126 00:05:00,030 --> 00:05:02,672 I just don't know what happened to my wallet. 127 00:05:02,673 --> 00:05:03,804 It's in your back pocket. 128 00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:08,538 I'll be damned. 129 00:05:08,539 --> 00:05:10,381 Always the last place you look. 130 00:05:11,542 --> 00:05:13,544 All right, showtime. 131 00:05:14,915 --> 00:05:16,947 (SADLY) Cheryl, you're killing me! 132 00:05:18,619 --> 00:05:20,551 (ANGRILY) Cheryl, you're killing me! 133 00:05:22,553 --> 00:05:24,625 Cheryl, you're killing me! 134 00:05:25,926 --> 00:05:27,527 Are you still on that? 135 00:05:27,528 --> 00:05:29,859 You bet I am. What's that waiter got that I don't have? 136 00:05:29,860 --> 00:05:31,031 All his chromosomes. 137 00:05:33,063 --> 00:05:34,435 (LAUGHING) Nice. 138 00:05:35,806 --> 00:05:38,708 You totally get me. 139 00:05:38,709 --> 00:05:41,070 I can't believe after all these years, you're still so jealous. 140 00:05:41,071 --> 00:05:42,712 Yeah, and I can't believe after all these years, 141 00:05:42,713 --> 00:05:44,113 you're still shaking it for any punk 142 00:05:44,114 --> 00:05:45,676 who will fill your water glass! 143 00:05:47,478 --> 00:05:49,979 You're getting all worked up over nothing. Yeah. 144 00:05:49,980 --> 00:05:51,721 Greg wasn't even the best-looking waiter there. 145 00:05:51,722 --> 00:05:53,683 All right, that's it. That's it. 146 00:05:53,684 --> 00:05:55,485 No, I'm going down there. Andy, get some bail money, 147 00:05:55,486 --> 00:05:56,626 'cause I'm gonna need it. 148 00:05:56,627 --> 00:05:58,858 Honey, I'm kidding! 149 00:05:58,859 --> 00:06:01,130 I'm kidding. Oh, you are so misguided. 150 00:06:01,131 --> 00:06:02,862 And so sweet. 151 00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:04,894 Really? Yes. 152 00:06:04,895 --> 00:06:06,996 You know you're the only man for me, 153 00:06:06,997 --> 00:06:07,998 Greg. 154 00:06:09,670 --> 00:06:12,141 Very funny! Very funny! Cheryl, that's very funny! 155 00:06:12,142 --> 00:06:13,603 (LAUGHING) I know. 156 00:06:13,604 --> 00:06:15,144 Dana, you want to help me make coffee? 157 00:06:15,145 --> 00:06:16,876 Sure. 158 00:06:16,877 --> 00:06:19,749 If my jealous husband will let me out of his sight for that long. 159 00:06:19,750 --> 00:06:21,110 Yeah, yeah. Go make coffee. 160 00:06:21,111 --> 00:06:23,052 It's not like I'm gonna sleep anyway! 161 00:06:23,053 --> 00:06:25,154 I'm gonna be up all night! 162 00:06:25,155 --> 00:06:26,987 Greg, Greg, Greg! 163 00:06:29,560 --> 00:06:30,760 Nicely done, Jim. 164 00:06:30,761 --> 00:06:32,062 Thank you. Nicely done. 165 00:06:33,464 --> 00:06:35,394 Wait a minute. 166 00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:37,635 Andy, you know about this whole fake jealousy thing, too? 167 00:06:37,668 --> 00:06:38,968 Fake jealousy? 168 00:06:38,969 --> 00:06:40,730 Who said anything about fake jealousy? 169 00:06:40,731 --> 00:06:42,001 Why, I've never heard such a... 170 00:06:42,002 --> 00:06:43,503 Andy, I told him. 171 00:06:43,504 --> 00:06:44,735 Yeah, I know a thing or two. 172 00:06:46,707 --> 00:06:48,177 Okay, here's what I don't understand. 173 00:06:48,178 --> 00:06:49,679 You're lying to your wife. 174 00:06:49,680 --> 00:06:51,911 Just morally speaking, aren't you on shaky ground? 175 00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:53,943 (BOTH LAUGH) 176 00:06:53,944 --> 00:06:55,846 Andy, were we ever that young? 177 00:06:57,187 --> 00:07:00,520 Listen up, Gibson. The doctor of love is in. 178 00:07:00,521 --> 00:07:01,721 Okay... 179 00:07:01,722 --> 00:07:03,893 He's got a Ph.D. in wifeology. 180 00:07:03,894 --> 00:07:05,054 Okay, listen... 181 00:07:05,055 --> 00:07:07,196 You're gonna get a shot of cassanova-caine. 182 00:07:07,197 --> 00:07:08,198 Andy! 183 00:07:11,532 --> 00:07:12,932 All right, listen, Doc. 184 00:07:12,933 --> 00:07:15,165 See, a good friend of mine, Stevie B., once told me, 185 00:07:16,136 --> 00:07:17,206 you know what? 186 00:07:17,207 --> 00:07:19,939 You can never take a relationship for granted. 187 00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:22,912 So every once in a while, I go, you know, nuts. 188 00:07:22,913 --> 00:07:24,013 Jealousy nuts. 189 00:07:24,014 --> 00:07:26,045 You know, crazy jealousy, you know? 190 00:07:26,046 --> 00:07:29,579 I mean, I'll stomp my feet, I'll yell, I'll make a scene, 191 00:07:29,580 --> 00:07:31,551 I'll throw something sometimes... 192 00:07:31,552 --> 00:07:33,392 But nothing of value. Nothing that's breakable. 193 00:07:34,685 --> 00:07:38,828 See, it lets Cheryl know that I still care for her. 194 00:07:38,829 --> 00:07:40,790 You know, just because she's my wife, 195 00:07:40,791 --> 00:07:42,662 it doesn't mean she doesn't deserve 196 00:07:42,663 --> 00:07:44,034 to be treated like a girlfriend. 197 00:07:49,640 --> 00:07:51,440 Couldn't you just tell her you appreciate her? 198 00:07:51,742 --> 00:07:53,073 (LAUGHS) 199 00:07:54,845 --> 00:07:57,577 This one gets a girlfriend and I'm drinking toilet water. 200 00:07:57,578 --> 00:07:58,749 Where's the justice? 201 00:08:01,051 --> 00:08:02,752 I'm still not buying it. 202 00:08:02,753 --> 00:08:03,983 Jim? 203 00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:05,214 Honey, you seem kind of worked up. 204 00:08:05,215 --> 00:08:06,717 Can I get you a glass of wine? 205 00:08:07,818 --> 00:08:09,619 Yeah, yeah... 206 00:08:09,620 --> 00:08:11,791 Whatever. 207 00:08:11,792 --> 00:08:13,863 All right, I'm just gonna call Greg and see what he recommends. 208 00:08:13,864 --> 00:08:14,865 Hey! 209 00:08:17,868 --> 00:08:19,069 I'm mad! 210 00:08:19,930 --> 00:08:22,132 I'm crazy jealous right now! 211 00:08:23,133 --> 00:08:24,204 Woo! 212 00:08:28,639 --> 00:08:30,279 My God, she loves it. 213 00:08:30,280 --> 00:08:31,581 Mm-hmm. 214 00:08:31,582 --> 00:08:32,982 You really know what you're talking about. 215 00:08:32,983 --> 00:08:34,283 Come on, tell me more. Let's go. 216 00:08:34,284 --> 00:08:36,115 Oh... 217 00:08:36,116 --> 00:08:38,517 All in good time, my friend. 218 00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:40,950 Hey, but this is just the tip of the iceberg. 219 00:08:40,951 --> 00:08:44,894 Yeah, he once got Cheryl to do yardwork on her birthday. 220 00:08:44,895 --> 00:08:46,196 And she thanked him. 221 00:08:48,228 --> 00:08:49,929 You know what, Doc? 222 00:08:49,930 --> 00:08:51,961 You're in the in crowd now. 223 00:08:51,962 --> 00:08:54,604 But there's a responsibility that comes with that. 224 00:08:54,605 --> 00:08:55,705 Like what? 225 00:08:55,706 --> 00:08:56,967 Keeping your yap shut. 226 00:08:57,868 --> 00:08:59,068 Dana can't know 227 00:08:59,069 --> 00:09:01,070 because then Cheryl will know, 228 00:09:01,071 --> 00:09:02,212 and that will be bad... 229 00:09:03,914 --> 00:09:06,176 Really bad for everybody. 230 00:09:07,277 --> 00:09:08,318 I got it. 231 00:09:15,325 --> 00:09:17,187 Real bad. 232 00:09:20,130 --> 00:09:21,991 I got it. 233 00:09:21,992 --> 00:09:23,833 All right! Welcome to the inner circle. 234 00:09:23,834 --> 00:09:25,194 That's right. Sweet, isn't it? 235 00:09:25,195 --> 00:09:27,337 It's nice. Three Musketeers now. 236 00:09:28,799 --> 00:09:30,269 Damn it! 237 00:09:30,270 --> 00:09:31,841 I drank toilet water again! 238 00:09:31,842 --> 00:09:33,003 What is wrong with me? 239 00:09:36,246 --> 00:09:37,807 Yeah, so a colleague of mine gave me tickets 240 00:09:37,808 --> 00:09:39,348 to Le Nozze di Figaro. 241 00:09:39,349 --> 00:09:41,711 Oh! Is that opera? 242 00:09:41,712 --> 00:09:43,883 Kinda hoping you'd know. 243 00:09:43,884 --> 00:09:46,616 Why don't we just scalp them and tie one on at a steakhouse? 244 00:09:46,617 --> 00:09:47,718 You totally get me. 245 00:09:49,359 --> 00:09:50,960 Hey, Chip, I'll have the usual, please. 246 00:09:50,961 --> 00:09:52,792 You got it, Dana. And for you? 247 00:09:52,793 --> 00:09:54,263 Decaf latte. 248 00:09:54,264 --> 00:09:56,896 By the way, we got those maple scones you like. 249 00:09:56,897 --> 00:09:58,829 Oh, I've got to have one of those. Thanks, Chip. 250 00:10:04,304 --> 00:10:06,176 Chip. (LAUGHS) Chip. 251 00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:09,809 How do you know his name? 252 00:10:09,810 --> 00:10:12,111 Oh, I come in here almost every day. 253 00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:14,152 Do you hit on him every day, or just in front of me? 254 00:10:15,946 --> 00:10:18,087 What? All I did was order coffee and a scone. 255 00:10:18,088 --> 00:10:19,388 Scone? 256 00:10:19,389 --> 00:10:20,920 Scone! 257 00:10:20,921 --> 00:10:22,693 Scone! (CHUCKLES) 258 00:10:24,755 --> 00:10:26,126 Did you want one, too? 259 00:10:27,227 --> 00:10:28,928 How long has this been going on, huh? 260 00:10:28,929 --> 00:10:30,259 How long have I been your patsy? 261 00:10:30,260 --> 00:10:32,261 Ryan, you're making a scene. 262 00:10:32,262 --> 00:10:33,863 Scene? You want a scene? I'll give you a scene. Ha ha! 263 00:10:33,864 --> 00:10:36,405 'Cause I'm jealous. I'm crazy jealous! 264 00:10:36,406 --> 00:10:38,208 I'm crazy scone jealous! 265 00:10:44,214 --> 00:10:46,415 (MAKES SPLASHING NOISE) Ha ha! 266 00:10:46,416 --> 00:10:48,879 Yeah! Walk away, walk away! 267 00:10:52,382 --> 00:10:55,756 Now, imagine if that had been like, a real mug full of coffee. 268 00:10:56,426 --> 00:10:57,828 That'd have been a scene. 269 00:11:04,334 --> 00:11:05,394 (BARKS) 270 00:11:05,395 --> 00:11:07,666 Sit. Sit. Sit. 271 00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:08,869 Good boy. 272 00:11:12,943 --> 00:11:14,174 Daddy, look at our new dog. 273 00:11:16,206 --> 00:11:17,947 Are you having fun, doggy? 274 00:11:17,948 --> 00:11:19,309 I pooped in the tub. 275 00:11:22,152 --> 00:11:23,913 Can we get a real dog? 276 00:11:23,914 --> 00:11:25,054 Well, you're gonna have to show me 277 00:11:25,055 --> 00:11:26,957 that you can clean up after your brother first. 278 00:11:32,723 --> 00:11:33,924 Come on. 279 00:11:37,467 --> 00:11:39,268 (SOBBING) Hey, Dana, what's up? 280 00:11:39,269 --> 00:11:40,801 (WHINING INCOMPREHENSIBLY) 281 00:11:48,338 --> 00:11:51,080 Dana, Dana, we had a deal! We had a deal! 282 00:11:51,081 --> 00:11:53,883 Dana, we had a deal about these hugs! Cheryl! 283 00:11:53,884 --> 00:11:56,185 Cheryl! Your sister's here! 284 00:11:56,186 --> 00:11:57,947 She's a little upset. 285 00:11:57,948 --> 00:12:00,219 Shut up! Turn around! Come on! Come on! 286 00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:01,350 Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! 287 00:12:01,351 --> 00:12:02,923 Oh, my God! 288 00:12:04,094 --> 00:12:08,097 Oh, honey, what's wrong? 289 00:12:08,098 --> 00:12:11,000 (CRYING) Ryan is a total psycho, that's what's wrong! 290 00:12:11,001 --> 00:12:12,201 CHERYL: What? 291 00:12:12,202 --> 00:12:15,264 Well, well, sounds like girl talk now. 292 00:12:15,265 --> 00:12:18,107 Just let me know how it turns out. 293 00:12:18,108 --> 00:12:20,810 He said I was flirting with this guy in the coffee shop, 294 00:12:20,811 --> 00:12:23,843 and he flew into this jealous rage for no reason. 295 00:12:23,844 --> 00:12:24,975 I'm here for you. 296 00:12:27,848 --> 00:12:30,179 He was just ranting and raving. 297 00:12:30,180 --> 00:12:31,380 It was really weird. 298 00:12:31,381 --> 00:12:34,224 He just kept saying, "Scone, scone, scone." 299 00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:37,828 That idiot! I'm gonna kill him! 300 00:12:39,860 --> 00:12:40,891 For hurting you. 301 00:12:42,192 --> 00:12:43,762 My family. 302 00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:46,235 Oh, you know, sweetie, I'm sure he just had a bad day. 303 00:12:46,236 --> 00:12:47,536 You know what you need to do? 304 00:12:47,537 --> 00:12:48,968 You need to just call him. 305 00:12:48,969 --> 00:12:50,539 I'm sure there's an explanation. 306 00:12:50,540 --> 00:12:53,472 That is the worst thing you could do! 307 00:12:53,473 --> 00:12:55,845 Don't call him! He's a jerk! 308 00:12:55,846 --> 00:12:58,207 Well... Come on, he upset you! 309 00:12:58,208 --> 00:12:59,778 Forget him. Make a clean break. 310 00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:01,280 Move to another town. I'll help you pack. 311 00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:02,852 Jim... 312 00:13:02,853 --> 00:13:04,413 Cheryl, for once Jim is right. 313 00:13:04,414 --> 00:13:06,285 When I left the coffee shop, 314 00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:08,087 I called Ryan and I broke up with him on his answering machine. 315 00:13:08,088 --> 00:13:09,358 We are over. 316 00:13:09,359 --> 00:13:11,320 I am proud of you, girl. 317 00:13:11,321 --> 00:13:12,892 I am so proud of you. 318 00:13:12,893 --> 00:13:14,423 That took so much courage. 319 00:13:14,424 --> 00:13:16,325 Listen to me. Men are really trouble. 320 00:13:16,326 --> 00:13:17,566 They're bad. 321 00:13:17,567 --> 00:13:19,870 I always thought you'd make a better lesbian anyway. 322 00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:22,932 (DOORBELL RINGS) 323 00:13:22,933 --> 00:13:24,904 All right, I'll get that, all right? 324 00:13:24,905 --> 00:13:26,976 But I'm gonna take this with me in case you feel weak. 325 00:13:26,977 --> 00:13:27,978 And your cell phone. 326 00:13:29,179 --> 00:13:30,980 Dana... 327 00:13:30,981 --> 00:13:32,182 I'm all about you. 328 00:13:38,889 --> 00:13:41,390 Baby, I'm sorry. 329 00:13:41,391 --> 00:13:42,821 But you know, look at the bright side. 330 00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:44,393 At least you found out early. 331 00:13:44,394 --> 00:13:46,514 It's not like you went out and bought a wedding dress. 332 00:13:52,132 --> 00:13:53,332 I want to talk to Dana. I know she's here! 333 00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:54,363 Calm down, calm down! 334 00:13:54,364 --> 00:13:56,435 (EXCLAIMING IN FRUSTRATION) 335 00:13:56,436 --> 00:13:59,338 Okay, I know what happened, and we're gonna work on it. 336 00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:01,010 Let me cover this first. 337 00:14:01,011 --> 00:14:02,611 (YELLING) What's that? 338 00:14:02,612 --> 00:14:06,946 Oh, you're conducting a door-to-door survey on sandwiches? 339 00:14:06,947 --> 00:14:10,319 Absolutely. You can have all the time you need with me. 340 00:14:10,320 --> 00:14:11,520 (WHISPERING) What is wrong with you? 341 00:14:11,521 --> 00:14:12,922 What's wrong with me? 342 00:14:12,923 --> 00:14:14,083 I took your advice, and Dana broke up with me. 343 00:14:14,084 --> 00:14:15,224 Well, of course she did! 344 00:14:15,225 --> 00:14:16,485 What? 345 00:14:16,486 --> 00:14:18,027 Look, when you act jealous when you're married, 346 00:14:18,028 --> 00:14:19,188 it's romantic. 347 00:14:19,189 --> 00:14:20,329 When you act jealous when you're dating, 348 00:14:20,330 --> 00:14:22,231 you're a psycho! 349 00:14:22,232 --> 00:14:23,432 You never told me that! 350 00:14:23,433 --> 00:14:25,094 It was implied! 351 00:14:25,095 --> 00:14:26,996 You never treat a girlfriend like a girlfriend! 352 00:14:26,997 --> 00:14:29,039 You treat a girlfriend like a wife! 353 00:14:31,201 --> 00:14:33,302 Oh, man, I've ruined the best thing that's ever happened to me. 354 00:14:33,303 --> 00:14:35,976 Damn right. I don't think our relationship's gonna recover. 355 00:14:40,250 --> 00:14:42,351 I'm talking about Dana. 356 00:14:42,352 --> 00:14:43,652 I'm just gonna go in there and tell her the truth. 357 00:14:43,653 --> 00:14:45,155 The truth! 358 00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:49,158 Come on, Doc. 359 00:14:49,159 --> 00:14:51,090 How many points do you think you're gonna score with Dana 360 00:14:51,091 --> 00:14:53,023 telling her that I gave you this advice? 361 00:14:54,264 --> 00:14:55,424 I'm screwed. 362 00:14:55,425 --> 00:14:56,895 Yeah. 363 00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:58,027 What am I supposed to do? 364 00:14:58,028 --> 00:14:59,398 Well, just don't panic, all right? 365 00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:01,130 You're new at this. I'm gonna walk you through it. 366 00:15:01,131 --> 00:15:03,572 You just gotta listen to me, listen to me. 367 00:15:03,573 --> 00:15:05,274 But taking your advice got me here in the first place... 368 00:15:05,275 --> 00:15:06,405 But, but, but, but, beep, beep, beep, 369 00:15:06,406 --> 00:15:07,607 yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! 370 00:15:08,638 --> 00:15:09,939 You want to argue with me? 371 00:15:09,940 --> 00:15:12,181 You're gonna be doing 10 push-ups. 372 00:15:12,182 --> 00:15:13,382 But I just feel like... But, but, but... 373 00:15:13,383 --> 00:15:15,115 I think I found someone who likes push-ups! 374 00:15:15,545 --> 00:15:16,685 You! 375 00:15:16,686 --> 00:15:19,148 That's 20 for you now. 376 00:15:19,149 --> 00:15:21,120 Come on, let me see 'em. 377 00:15:21,121 --> 00:15:22,552 Hey, you want Dana back or not? 378 00:15:23,353 --> 00:15:25,055 Come on, hump it. 379 00:15:28,298 --> 00:15:29,559 All right. 380 00:15:30,360 --> 00:15:32,161 Here's the plan. 381 00:15:32,162 --> 00:15:33,203 Nice form, by the way. 382 00:15:35,235 --> 00:15:38,037 Who was the guy that you pretended to be jealous over? 383 00:15:38,038 --> 00:15:39,608 Chip, the guy that works at the coffee shop 384 00:15:39,609 --> 00:15:40,970 she always goes to. 385 00:15:40,971 --> 00:15:42,042 Chip. 386 00:15:42,572 --> 00:15:44,573 Yeah, that's good. 387 00:15:44,574 --> 00:15:46,116 We're gonna need Chip. 388 00:15:47,277 --> 00:15:48,377 Why? 389 00:15:48,378 --> 00:15:49,679 That "why?" Just cost you 40. 390 00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:52,322 Don't you mean 30? Fifty! 391 00:15:53,323 --> 00:15:54,554 Keep that butt down! 392 00:16:02,562 --> 00:16:04,334 Hmm. Look at her. 393 00:16:05,235 --> 00:16:06,666 There's my future. 394 00:16:08,498 --> 00:16:09,738 Old and alone. 395 00:16:09,739 --> 00:16:11,001 Oh... 396 00:16:13,043 --> 00:16:14,243 All right, well, maybe not alone, 397 00:16:14,244 --> 00:16:15,475 but childless. 398 00:16:19,309 --> 00:16:21,150 Damn it! 399 00:16:21,151 --> 00:16:23,412 Honey. Look, I know this is hard. 400 00:16:23,413 --> 00:16:24,713 You know what you need to do? 401 00:16:24,714 --> 00:16:26,455 You need to talk to Mom. 402 00:16:26,456 --> 00:16:28,417 (SCOFFS) Why would I do that? 403 00:16:28,418 --> 00:16:30,319 'Cause I already told her and she's calling you later. 404 00:16:30,320 --> 00:16:31,620 Cheryl! 405 00:16:31,621 --> 00:16:33,622 She was riding me about not circumcising Kyle. 406 00:16:33,623 --> 00:16:34,693 I had to change the subject. 407 00:16:34,694 --> 00:16:36,565 (DANA SIGHS) 408 00:16:36,566 --> 00:16:38,427 Here are your coffees, ladies. 409 00:16:38,428 --> 00:16:40,169 This one's on me, Dana. 410 00:16:40,170 --> 00:16:41,470 Aw, thank you. 411 00:16:41,471 --> 00:16:42,671 My pleasure. 412 00:16:42,672 --> 00:16:44,134 That'll be $2.25, ma'am. 413 00:16:46,636 --> 00:16:48,507 So, where's your guy? 414 00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:49,779 Oh, we broke up. 415 00:16:50,610 --> 00:16:51,781 Yeah... 416 00:16:54,244 --> 00:16:56,345 I had a feeling when you were flirting with me 417 00:16:56,346 --> 00:17:00,019 that you two just weren't gonna make it. 418 00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:03,222 No, I wasn't flirting with you. 419 00:17:03,223 --> 00:17:04,323 (CHUCKLES) 420 00:17:04,324 --> 00:17:06,125 Dana... 421 00:17:06,126 --> 00:17:09,428 If there's one thing I've learned in the coffee game, 422 00:17:09,429 --> 00:17:12,332 it's when a lovely lady is looking for company. 423 00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:16,536 Okay, I've officially hit rock bottom. 424 00:17:18,138 --> 00:17:21,571 By the way, raging kegger Saturday night. 425 00:17:23,213 --> 00:17:25,244 The Chipster hates flying solo. 426 00:17:25,245 --> 00:17:26,246 (CLICKS TONGUE) 427 00:17:29,679 --> 00:17:33,422 Okay, now I'm looking up at rock bottom. 428 00:17:33,423 --> 00:17:34,683 No, no, no, wait, wait. 429 00:17:34,684 --> 00:17:36,586 If this kid thinks you were flirting with him, 430 00:17:37,287 --> 00:17:38,627 maybe you were. 431 00:17:38,628 --> 00:17:40,460 Oh, my God, maybe I was. 432 00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:43,792 That means Ryan is not a complete psycho! 433 00:17:43,793 --> 00:17:45,394 Right! And I'm just a pathetic flirt 434 00:17:45,395 --> 00:17:47,796 who has to attract men to validate her own self-worth. 435 00:17:47,797 --> 00:17:50,139 That's just what Mom said! 436 00:17:50,140 --> 00:17:51,770 Oh, my God! 437 00:17:51,771 --> 00:17:53,102 I've got to go find Ryan! 438 00:17:53,103 --> 00:17:54,503 Thank you, Cheryl. 439 00:17:54,504 --> 00:17:57,377 Oh, no problem. That's what sisters are for. 440 00:17:59,249 --> 00:18:00,579 Hey, Mom, it's me. 441 00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:02,712 You were right! She is a pathetic flirt! 442 00:18:04,454 --> 00:18:08,287 No, Kyle is too old to have it done now. 443 00:18:08,288 --> 00:18:09,759 Well, that was Dad's generation. 444 00:18:14,224 --> 00:18:15,764 And in closing, 445 00:18:15,765 --> 00:18:19,428 I urge you to consider dumping the purple horseshoes 446 00:18:19,429 --> 00:18:21,331 from your otherwise fine cereal. 447 00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:26,104 Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah. 448 00:18:26,105 --> 00:18:27,536 Yours truly. 449 00:18:27,537 --> 00:18:29,439 Cc the governor? As always. 450 00:18:31,541 --> 00:18:32,741 Hey! 451 00:18:32,742 --> 00:18:34,883 ANDY: Ah, there's the happy couple. 452 00:18:34,884 --> 00:18:36,745 Yeah. Cheryl told me the good news. 453 00:18:36,746 --> 00:18:38,617 You guys are back together, huh? 454 00:18:38,618 --> 00:18:40,149 Yeah, it was all a silly misunderstanding. 455 00:18:40,150 --> 00:18:41,220 You want to hear all about it? 456 00:18:41,221 --> 00:18:42,751 Nah. Not really. 457 00:18:42,752 --> 00:18:44,823 I was just being polite. 458 00:18:44,824 --> 00:18:46,225 Cheryl in the kitchen? 459 00:18:46,226 --> 00:18:48,897 Yeah, she has to clean up after the dog. 460 00:18:48,898 --> 00:18:50,200 You don't have a dog. 461 00:18:51,431 --> 00:18:52,832 It's a long story. 462 00:18:58,208 --> 00:18:59,868 (CHUCKLES) Hey! 463 00:18:59,869 --> 00:19:01,640 JIM: How about it, huh? 464 00:19:01,641 --> 00:19:04,873 Didn't I tell you slipping the Chipster 50 bucks was gonna fix it? 465 00:19:04,874 --> 00:19:06,275 Yeah, you were right. 466 00:19:06,276 --> 00:19:07,716 Of course he was right, Harvard. 467 00:19:07,717 --> 00:19:09,478 Went to Columbia. 468 00:19:09,479 --> 00:19:12,751 Whatever, Harvard. Just thank the man. 469 00:19:12,752 --> 00:19:15,784 No, no, no thanks is necessary. 470 00:19:15,785 --> 00:19:18,487 You're on the inside now, and we take care of our own. 471 00:19:18,488 --> 00:19:19,489 (ANDY CHUCKLING) 472 00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:21,831 Yeah. 473 00:19:26,596 --> 00:19:27,897 Yeah, what? 474 00:19:29,339 --> 00:19:30,739 You didn't say anything, did you? 475 00:19:30,740 --> 00:19:31,741 No. 476 00:19:33,343 --> 00:19:34,443 Not at first. 477 00:19:34,444 --> 00:19:36,605 What? What did you say? 478 00:19:36,606 --> 00:19:37,676 Everything. I told her everything. 479 00:19:37,677 --> 00:19:39,208 What? Everything everything? 480 00:19:39,209 --> 00:19:41,250 Yeah, I don't want to start a relationship based on deceit. 481 00:19:41,251 --> 00:19:42,712 What a wussy thing to say! 482 00:19:44,214 --> 00:19:45,754 My God! Oh, my God! 483 00:19:45,755 --> 00:19:47,185 Wait, wait, wait, wait! Hey! 484 00:19:47,186 --> 00:19:48,957 I made her promise not to say anything to Cheryl. 485 00:19:48,958 --> 00:19:51,291 Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God! 486 00:19:52,322 --> 00:19:54,693 Hey, girls, how you doing? Bad dog! 487 00:19:54,694 --> 00:19:56,765 Dana, come here, I want to show you something! 488 00:19:56,766 --> 00:19:57,967 I want to show you this. 489 00:19:59,569 --> 00:20:01,330 Okay, how much? How much what? 490 00:20:01,331 --> 00:20:03,572 How much to keep your yap shut and not tell Cheryl? 491 00:20:03,573 --> 00:20:04,933 Why, Jim, for the life of me, 492 00:20:04,934 --> 00:20:06,775 I have no idea what you're talking about. 493 00:20:06,776 --> 00:20:08,407 How much, Dana? 494 00:20:08,408 --> 00:20:10,509 $20,000. What! 495 00:20:10,510 --> 00:20:12,441 I could have you killed for $5. 496 00:20:12,442 --> 00:20:13,742 Oh! 497 00:20:13,743 --> 00:20:16,546 Relax, you jackass. I'm not gonna tell her. 498 00:20:17,817 --> 00:20:19,419 You're not? No! 499 00:20:20,650 --> 00:20:21,721 What's the catch? 500 00:20:22,492 --> 00:20:25,294 There is no catch. 501 00:20:25,295 --> 00:20:29,458 Look, I don't get it, but for some strange reason, 502 00:20:29,459 --> 00:20:31,700 Cheryl loves it when you get jealous. 503 00:20:31,701 --> 00:20:34,363 And I know in your own twisted way, 504 00:20:34,364 --> 00:20:36,905 you're just trying to show your wife that you love her. 505 00:20:36,906 --> 00:20:38,568 Why would I ruin that for her? 506 00:20:40,470 --> 00:20:41,511 Wow. 507 00:20:42,612 --> 00:20:43,813 That's... 508 00:20:44,614 --> 00:20:45,714 Really nice? 509 00:20:45,715 --> 00:20:46,816 Yeah. 510 00:20:47,777 --> 00:20:49,318 Don't get used to it. 511 00:20:49,319 --> 00:20:51,350 And listen, if you ever give Ryan advice again, 512 00:20:51,351 --> 00:20:53,482 unless it's secretly coming from me, 513 00:20:53,483 --> 00:20:55,825 I will come down on you like the hammer of God. 514 00:20:58,628 --> 00:20:59,958 Deal. 515 00:20:59,959 --> 00:21:01,560 Uh, hold on. 516 00:21:01,561 --> 00:21:03,692 I'd like you to drop and give me 20 push-ups. What? 517 00:21:03,693 --> 00:21:05,634 Yeah, Ryan told me that, too. 518 00:21:05,635 --> 00:21:07,497 Well, he's a little chatterbox, isn't he? 519 00:21:08,698 --> 00:21:10,369 Make it 30. 520 00:21:10,370 --> 00:21:11,800 I'm not doing that! 521 00:21:11,801 --> 00:21:13,503 Oh, Cheryl... Okay, okay, count 'em off. 522 00:21:14,704 --> 00:21:16,044 And one, and two. 523 00:21:16,045 --> 00:21:17,646 Keep your back straight, Sally. 524 00:21:17,647 --> 00:21:19,047 (JIM GRUNTS) 525 00:21:19,048 --> 00:21:21,410 Four, and five... Put some love in it. 526 00:21:21,411 --> 00:21:24,684 Six, there we go. Seven, and eight.